I went to a picnic Saturday so I been a little wrapped up. It was a trans picnic. It was ok. I brought a friend. I found a few people to talk to. I am so behind on emails but now I am back and things are back to normal. Nothing else is going on with me. Just dealing with the same old things and all.
At least lately I am getting out the house. I am trying my best to be a regular person.
The beginning of July was so busy for me now the end it is so slow. I don’t know what the problem is. I guess its just people are busy with family and friends. My emails are still great though. I have at least 15 to 20 emails a day. I just wish the adult chat line would be busy. I guess I need to meditate on it.
I hope everyone else is having a happy July.
I was really depressed last night. I don’t know why. Things are not that bad for me. I woke up this morning and felt a little better but I am much better now.
Gosh its like problems never go away. I will not let this get to me though. I have to work and save money. Money is tight right now. I have to get out of this debt also. Wish me luck with that. I have to make some calls and deal with my student loans. See all this mess I have to deal with . Plus my car has some minor problems. One of the lights is coming on. I just want a regular week that I can focus on the phonesex line and not have to deal with all these problems going on. Wish me luck with my issues.
Popeyes Chicken is an hour away from me. I went to a dental appointment in Pittsburgh and went there. It was a guy there and I think he knew who I was. He kept talking to me like he knew. Its ok. He wasn’t a mean guy. He fixed my food. Most people don’t notice me cause I wear glasses and don’t say much to people.
Tia said at her new job there are people that know her and giving her a hard time. Not physically touching her, but they talking about her. Thats one thing I don’t miss about a real job. She said she just do her work and ignore them. I don’t blame her. She didn’t know any Cambodians work at the place. We can’t always be passable. I hate when people are all talking about me. I guess that is why I suffer from depression so bad cause of how people treated me at jobs. Tia is stronger than me
More Tgirls should be like Tia and fight for the jobs out there. She said she might quit if she gets another job cause she says its like an oven in the place.
I want to make my dreams come true. I used to want to be a singer, dancer, rapper and writer. Now I focus on surviving. I want to get back to writing my book and working on music. I just don’t have many people to help me. I need lots of motivation. So if you can motivate me then email me at email@example.com
I need to take the world by storm. Its mostly about me now. I can’t help other people that much right now. I need to make some dreams come true before I get in my 50s. I will be 40 in February. I did not think I will be this behind on life at 40. Wish me luck getting back on my feet.
I have options to get out of here but none of the options seem to work for me. Like a guy offered me to move to Wisconsin. It sounds like an idea but he stays in an all white area as well. I don’t want to move to an area where there are few blacks cause that is racism waiting to happen.
Another guy wants me to move in with him but I am not feeling him. He gave this other girl a 1000 dollars and then all of a sudden he wants me to move in with him. That makes no since to me at all. He shouldn’t have told me he gave this girl a 1000 bucks. He has known me longer than he has known her. Sorry ranting about that guy.
Another guy offered me to move in with him but he doesn’t seem to be serious. He contacts me every blue moon. I have to wait for him to get in contact with me cause he does not answer my text or emails till like weeks later.
I have stayed with people before and when they want you out they want you out. I do not like staying some where that I can get kicked out at any time.
Well its June now and I have not moved. I am still at the same place. I am dealing with it though. I am trying to not be so depressed all the time. I know that makes people not want to bother talking to me. If you have a mind to listen to my rants and talks then send me and email. firstname.lastname@example.org
Well saving money has not been easy. I am struggling to keep bills paid. I must keep hope alive. I do not want to dip into my savings yet. I am saving to get a new place. Everyone I will be fine. I am safe. I live in a place and can’t host here but I have electric, water and television. One day I will have furniture and all that.
I want to get a hotel room and take new pictures. Plus, I need new videos. So please be patient. I know I have not done anything since August of last year.
I have not been dating anyone or even been out with anyone. I been spending most of my time alone.
My main focus is to save an move away from here to an area I can be happy. Plus, I need more space.
They are not perfect like I want them but things are ok. I have a place to live and food to eat. I need to actually slow down on eating so much. I just want you to know I am alright. I will keep you posted. Yes I still suffer from depression allot, but I am fighting it. Just keep emailing me at email@example.com and keep replying to me on here to let me know you care.